Never Ending Day Dream.

The Journey.

Part 2.

 I don’t really remember how long I slept, I was luck there
was no one sitting behind me so I was able to keep the seat all the way back
all the time I slept and no one disturbed me. Then I felt a slight cold on my
cheek and shaking my head I woke up. It was the flight attendant, she
told.  “sorry to wake you up, I cannot
save your food for too long as it will get spoiled.”

 I told, “Give me ten
minutes I will wash my face and be back” said that I went to the toilet,
refreshed myself and got back to my seat to see my food ready.

 After finishing the
meal, I started looking at the magazines I found behind the seat in front of
me. Then Mani got up and came to me and said, “Don’t sleep anymore” I asked,
“Why not?” in my mother tongue he told me, “Your don’t snore, you growl and was
literally trying to eat the ear of the guy sitting beside you” He laughed and
went to the toilet. I felt really bad for the guy sitting beside me. He by this
time was trying hard to sleep.

 I let him to his
misery and got back to some story on the magazine. Then I remembered seeing
couple of empty seats in the back side when I went to the toilet. I waved at
the hostess and she came by and told me, “Sir you don’t have to wave, you can
press this button” and shown me a button above me. I thanked her and asked her
if I can go and sit in one of those back seats. She agreed and I moved back.

 Another session of
good sleep, I saw a dream, a bizarre one, at that time I had the habit of
writing down my dreams when I wake up. Even though I lost the small notepad
where I wrote the dream, I still remember seeing me walking through a field,
filled with dried high grass, about my chest height. The evening sun was
hitting me on the back of my head so I know I am walking eastwards. Then I saw
a wonderful flower in the middle of this grass lands, I wanted to take that
flower, suddenly I heard a noise “Please fasten your seat belts” I woke up and
made sure the trays are up and my seat was brought to an upright position. Then
I noted what I saw in the dream down.

  I looked through the
window and can see way down a big city. I smiled with the thought, how many
times British and American bombers flew over this country to kill off the Nazis
and save the world from the grip of an evil mankind never seen before, Frankfurt.
We landed pretty safely and got into the airport, Anand was pretty tired as he
was not able to sleep much. He for some reason did not ask the hostess if he
can move to the empty backseats. We needed to spend nearly seven hours at the
airport, before we can catch the next flight to New York.
We reached the terminal and then I asked Mani, if he got some cigarettes. He
told me, “Man where will we go and smoke?”

  “I have seen places
where people can go and smoke in the airport, in the movies” I told.

So we went and asked the nearest gentleman “ May I know
where we can go and smoke?” He looked at both of us. Then without saying a word
he turned around and looked at someone behind him. I looked past the guy I
asked, there is someone sitting on a bench and smoking. I said “Thank you” and
went ahead. Mani by this time told me “Hey this is Germany,
people speak German here” I laughed at my yet another stupidity and we both sat
beside the smoker and smoked.

  We pretty much
walked this way and that way through the airport, window shopping. Seven hours
went away like seven minutes as everything was new to me. We got on to the
place and once again the seats were not nearby. I got an old lady near me. Mani
luckily got an aisle seat. Anand got another bad neighbor. I had food and as
the flight attendant was a man I don’t even remember his face. The lady nearby,
old enough to be my mom, she asked me where I am going. I explained to her what
kind of computer programmer I am. It was nice talking to her as the nearly nine
and half hour flight to New York
was spent talking. When we reached near New York
we exchanged seats as she wanted to show me the statue of liberty from the
flight. When the plane took a turn to land, I saw her. In how many movies and
T.V I saw this statue. Now right in front me. I never imagined seeing the
liberty lady flying around her. Then I enjoyed the view from above as described
by the lady sitting nearby, the greatest city on Earth.

 We landed at JFK in
the morning. We have to sit at the airport for about five hours before catching
a flight to Atlanta. As we were
flying on Delta Airlines, we must go through Atlanta.
At JFK we needed to identify our baggage as it was the first port of entry. We
did the identification job and put tags and checked in them again. Then came to
the emigration area. Both Anand and Mani just passed without much hassle. For
me, it was a young guy and he asked me like a hundred questions, asked me for
my papers. As I was so organized and coached by people in India
how to deal with these people. I didn’t 
swayed a bit. I answered all questions and my papers were all on in one
big bag organized well. The guy at the emigration was impressed and in the end
said.

 “Welcome to the United
States”

 We three guys walked through the Delta terminal. I went and
bought a pack of cigarettes and told Anand to look after our carryon baggage and
as there were announcement going on that we have to go outside of the terminal
to smoke we walked to the door. To our surprise most of the people were looking
at us in an odd way. Mani looked me and I looked at him and smiling we both
went out. Like missiles we both rushed back into the terminal. It was cold very
cold, in fact it was about zero. Both me and Mani were wearing T-Shirt and
jeans. We had jackets in the carryon bag so we took that and went out for the
long awaited smoke. After that we found a place in a terminal where we can use
computers and we both checked emails and I sent an email to Kim Thomas telling
him about the flight. JFK airport is a living area, it was fascinating to watch
many different kind of people walking around and I had a bit difficulty
understanding the American accent and no one understood a word I said as I
spoke with a very south Indian accent and really fast. Mani’s English was far
better and Anand was still gloomy.

 Eventually we got into the plane to Atlanta.
As usual I got a seat far away from Mani and Anand. I was in the front. After I
sat and tied myself to the seat right before they closed the door a good looking
flight attendant came in and sat right beside me. I looked at her, she was not
just good looking, she was one of prettiest thing I have ever seen.

 I told her “Hello”

 She looked at me and smiled and said, “Hello”

 Then she told me, “I am off duty, flying back home”

 I did not smiled, as I know opening my mouth and speaking to
such a pretty girl is not a wise idea as she may keep on telling “say it again”.

 Then I stretched my hand and said, “I am Riaz Ahammed’ She
gave me a bigger smile and said, “ I am Georgia,
where are you from?”

 I told her with a smile this time, “India, I am on my way to
Milwaukee” I paused a moment and said, “ you know you have the name of the state
you live” she looked me through the side of her eyes and told “Yes I am” Then
smiled again and asked “ Are you new here in USA?” I told “yes I am, you might
have caught me with the accent” Her smile turned to laughs this time, through
her giggles she said, “Your accent is fine, I have heard worst”

 By this time the flight was about to take off and I started
my prayers before journey. With an eye on Georgia,
who was doing some sort of hand signal with the another hostess, who just
finished showing how to breath and tie oneself to the seat and all. The flight
took off smoothly to Atlanta. The
place I saw on T.V during the Olympics.

I am not very good in writing prose. Still this is something that may
interest someone. I hope I will get better in writing prose through
this. Now what I am about to write is all that happened in USA. Some of
my friends did not responded well as they don't want to really reveal
all that happened. Still I will be writing down the good, bad, dirty
and bitter of all that happened. If someone's life is going to get
screwed because of this, so be it. From my initial estimate, it will
take about a year for me to finish the whole thing. If there are some
serious mistakes in phrasing or in grammar please let me know. I will
fix it along the way.

The day woke up around me with a wonderful smile. The
flares of light reached my face so early in the morning. The last week
of March literally flared around and the temperature rose to nearly 30
degrees Celsius. Just another day for the world. As for me, my mind
literally swayed knowing what is to come. I went upstairs on the
terrace. A place where I spent most of my younger years. Looking at the
sky, learning about stars and once more I touched my little telescope.
Touched the place where I used to practice cricket, walked around for
sometime on top of the terrace. I wiped away the remaining ashes of the
papers I burned the evening before. I burned away all the poems I wrote
till that date, an action to erase all the good, bad and bitter
memories of mine till that date. Then my cousin Humaid called from down,

"Hey, get ready fast, we got to leave soon"

I
came down and it was a lot of good byes to all those who are not coming
to Cochin the nearby city about 64 kilometers from where I lived. Then
during the trip my cousin told me.

"Don't be nervous about the flight, it is quite cool, the air-hostess will get you pumped up" he said.

I laughed and told, him "not really, given a chance I will pump her inside out" Humaid told me "Hey reach there before you start the pumping, okay, keep it down".

We
had fun at the airport too, but when the announcement for security
check came, all laughs were gone. my mom and sister held on to their
tears. My entire family was there at the airport to see me off. When I
walked into the security check they told me to take off the denim
jacket, when  I was taking it off, I can see my hands are trembling. A
fear came to my mind, about what, about whom, I don't know. I walked
out to get into the plane looking back at the window. No one is
smiling, when walking up the ladder I once more, turned around and
waved my hands and I saw many, many hands waving.

When I got into the plane I gathered all the courage I can and told to myself, piece of cake, nothing to worry... the airhostess
disappointed me. One of the worst looking girls ever seen. She helped
me to sit and told me she will bring something to drink and went away.

When
the flight was about to take off I whispered a prayer for the
protection of me and the vehicle during the journey. When the flight
took off, in my mind I said, wow, this is the first time I am flying,
after looking up at the sky for years, yeah I am flying.

I
fell asleep and woke up hearing the announcement that we are going to
land in Bangalore. After landing I walked out and there my friend Kim
Thomas was waiting for me with another friend Rajesh.
Kim took my hand bag and we went to get the rest of my luggage. We both
were quite. When I saw my large luggage box coming, I really wanted to
run away as the hard plastic box is broke and some of my dress,
especially underwears were peeping out.

I told Kim, " Hey we need to get into a hotel first, we don't have time to go to your place" He said "yes".

We
gathered all the things and put it in a taxi and we went to a hotel Kim
knows very well. I met Kim Thomas first when I went for Mainframe
Certification Training in Madras. He is 10 years younger than me but my
skills in talking really got to him. We became friends there. I spent
nearly a month in Bangalore with him looking for jobs for him there.
After the certification I decided I am going to New Zealand and tried
to find a programmer job there. But I couldn't find anything in New
Zealand so I told one of my friend in Cochin to apply for any job that
says Mainframe or Cobol
and he posted my resume for all the jobs that came up on the net. I got
the call from a US company called Keane, Inc. Got the job after taking
a Tech-Check which is an online test.  Kim helped me a lot around
Bangalore at that time too. Now once more I went around Bangalore with
him.
 
Our first aim was to by a big box to carry my luggage. We bought that put Rajesh at the hotel with the bag who agreed to pack everything up. Then me and Kim took Rajesh's Yamaha bike and went to get the tickets confirmed. My ticket is from Cochin to Bangalore which I came, then from Bangalore to Bomaby
which is not the confirmed leg of the trip. We went to Delta airlines
office and they told they cannot help me as it is a busy route and the
ticket is by Indian Airlines. We went to Indian Airlines the airlines
run by Indian government so what I found was a bunch of idiots with no
ethics. They told an unconfirmed ticket means nothing. It is the Hajj
season, lot of muslims
from India are travelling to Bombay, so come later.  Now I am in a big
jolt, Kim told lets go to some other airline and get a ticket. We went
to every known airlines office, nothing. In the end I told Kim, lets go
to Indian airlines office, bribe them or blackmail them, or do whatever
I must get into that plane. The flight is at 8:15PM and by 4:00PM we
are back at the Indian Airlines office in the airport. One man at the
office told, be here at 7:30PM we will do something. That's the best he
could do.

So me and Kim went back to the
hotel, we all went for food. Then we went back to the hotel, I took a
crap and a shower. Then we went to the airport after a lengthy check
out at the
hotel. The moment we reached the airport I told Kim, "Fuck man, this is
a big fuck" there was about 50,000 people there, people going for Hajj
pilgrimage, their relatives all stuck at one door to the airport.

Kim
said "There is no fucking way you are going to get into the airport" he
pulled my hand with one hand and took my big luggage box with the other
and tried his best to push ahead. Nothing working, I told Kim "We have
to find some other way". He agreed and we came out of there.

Then Rajesh
said there is a window there, no grill or anything blocking it. So we
ran there and Kim first pushed me in, then  the boxes and then he
jumped in after  that. We rushed to the Indian Airlines office, our guy
is missing in action. I told Kim "Looks like a pretty good start" Kim
smiled and said "All will be fine man".

Then
the officer came he told "Look at the crowd, do you think I can do
something?" I told " I must be in that plane, look, I am not going to
Saudi Arabia, I am going to Frankfurt from there I am going to New
York, If I don't get into that plane I am going to lose the job I got
in USA." He looked at me and said "Wait here, some way will come up,
but right now, it don't look good at all"

I
waited in front of that office and I told Kim "I am a last minute guy,
you know that, Something fantastic is going to happen now" Kim was not
paying attention to me, he was looking at another guy. I shook him and
asked, "What is going on man, are you okay?" Kim asked back "What
company you are going to work for?" I told "Keane, in Milwaukee, near
Chicago".

Kim said "Look at that guys bag" I looked at the bag it is written on it, "Mani Perumal, To USA, Keane, Inc" I was like wow, We both rushed to him.

I asked him, "are you going to Milwaukee?" the guy turned and told "Yes, are you Riaz?" I said "yes". Then I told him my ticket situation. Mani have a confirmed ticket so he is fine. We met another guy called Anand who is also going to Milwaukee for Keane.

It was 7:45PM and I still don't see the airlines guy. It was time for Mani and Anand to go for the security check. Mani's mom started crying and Anand
a married guy was also emotional in leaving his wife.  Then Mani's mom
held my hands and told "you should take care of him I am leaving him to
you". I told "Sure I will take care of him don't worry" I gave my word
and left them there to go and look for the airlines officer.

Time
was ticking by and nothing happening the last call came for the
security check. I can see Mani waiting for me without entering the
security check. Then the officer came from behind and told. "Come with
me"

He took me inside and told, "here take
this" and gave me a boarding pass. I asked "Should I pay anything for
this?" He said "No, just go fast" I hugged Kim and Rajesh
and went in for the security check. Mani told me "Without you I would
not have gone man" I laughed. We both rushed through the check in
process and got out. The comedy started there at that moment. We can
see two planes and from both planes people are calling waving hands.
Mani turned around and said "what is this, private bus stand in
Cochin?" Mani said lets go to the right one and we both ran to that
plane. There the flight attendant looked at the boarding pass and said,
"You two are at the wrong plane, the one in front of this plane is the
one you should board". "Run" I said to Mani and we fools started
running not thinking that the plane will not leave without us as our
baggage is already checked in.

We both got
into the plane sweating and gasping for breath. The flight attendant
told me "you should go to the front gate" I rushed there and got in, I
sat down and looked around. All old guys in full suit. The flight
attendant came with some moist tissues and wiped my face. that wowed
me. Then I understood, damn I am in first class. The Indian Airlines
officer gave me a first class ticket. Good upgrade.

I
relaxed a bit got some orange juice and biscuits then without much
thought I slept. The flight attendant woke me up asking me to keep the
tray locked for landing. I noticed people around me looking at me in a
queer way. In my mind I said "whatever". I landed in Bombay. Where Mani
and Anand
told me they are going with another friend to the international airport
and one of my friend, Ajay George and his dad were waiting for me. Ajay
and his dad took me to the international airport. Ajay gave all the
bags to his dad and took me in a taxi for a ride around Bombay. He
knows Bombay like the back of his hand. We got out near a coffee shop,
I had tea and I smoked like four cigarettes then me and Ajay sat there
and talked and talked for couple of hours. Ajay George about 6 years
younger than me, we first met when I was doing my Honors in systems
management at Cochin. We spent about 3 years together and no girl who
came around us left in the same shape at least mentally. We were that
naughty or wild.

After going through some
talk we both got back into the taxi and came to the airport. Ajay said
good bye hugged me and left Then I looked for Mani and Anand,
no sign of them. Stood in  a long line to get into the plane. In Bombay
there were vestibules so, no need to run around looking for the right
planes. Once inside the plane I saw Anand waving at me. Mani was on another row. So I am relieved that everyone is in  the right place.

I
sat on an Aisle seat. The air-hostess came and asked me what I need to
eat. I told too early to eat anything Tea will do. She said fine. and
brought me tea and some nice crispy cookies. I drank tea before the
flight took off and the flight attendant took the cup away... I don't
know, I felt sad then when the plane was going through the runway in
full throttle, I was afraid, once it took off my mood changed to anger.
Then I vowed, "I was born in India for a reason beyond my control and I
will never live in boundaries drawn by stupid humanity, the concept of
mother land is the biggest hoax created by mankind. I will not suffer
for the wrong doings of stupid traditions and culture. My life will be
lived in the right of truth which binds my soul a supreme being way
beyond every imagination of mine or anyone, I will never come back to
India to live here permanently." Starting at around 2:00AM I left India
for good. I saw only darkness when looked out through both windows. Be
most of it that happened to me in there remain in the dark forever. I
once more prayed to God for the  protection of me and the vehicle that
is carrying me.



The air-hostess came again and asked you want some food, I told, not
now, I am fine and told her " I need some sleep, had a long long day,
wake me up in 3 hours" she said "yeah you look tired, I will let you
sleep now and save your food" I said "Thanks" she is probably around
40, nice looking lady.



Looking at her actions all around the plane I slowly fell to the dark
friend who comes to me every night, not knowing that everything I know
till now does not exist with me anymore, it is me, myself and myself
from here on.

Many, many days
passed with hollow thoughts, talks, laughs and sometime as normal
humans we exploded at each other. None of those days forgot to take the
moving images of our life, for us to look back into those days to
remember the good old days. The best part of being with Jennifer is all
days looked new and the greatest part in every day for her is me.
That’s the same way I made her feel. At work, in the park, at the
movies, in the restaurant wherever life took us we came to understand
each other so well, I know exactly what she is think and she know
exactly what my intentions are with just a look or the move of my
hands. There are no conflicts, though we both for sometime tried our
best to find faults or what one disliked in the other. Though we raised
a lot of points we ended up figuring out that both disliked same kind
of characteristics. Jennifer got drunk couple of times after that, in
both times the day after was more tearful than during the drunken time.
Eventually she figured out Oolong tea is more beneficial than Rum and
Whiskey. Well, I don’t know anything about that, I know that Oolong tea
is more expensive than any alcohol. The second reason touched me most,
she said….. that’s your favorite tea, my man. After two years of living
together I am still not sure what she is to me. But she said this…

 

“You
are much more than anything I love, because nothing ever got used to
those rough edges on you and nothing ever got used to the rough edges
of mine. If we ever get married and have children are matters of
tomorrows and I know you don’t belong in tomorrow or yesterday. You
belong in my heart right now.”

  I smiled and took her hand and said, “Keep me safe” and walked hand in hand with her into the winds of a wild wintry evening.

Introduction. From a previous post.

 

This is a talk between two strangers meeting at work place. They decide to live together and all these are talks between them in the evenings when they sit in the couch and watch T.V or movies or listen to music.

 

The 'I' here is a depiction of myself. Jennifer is the favorite name of mine so I gave that name to this fictitious character. This character may take characteristics of many women. Most of the time she will be just talking to me her mind, through that I will try to express what I feel about contemporary events and my thoughts about life.

 

I will try my best to update the Evening Talks when it is ready.  Sometime it will be daily or every other day or sometimes it will come twice in a week or just a weekly update. It depends on the availability of time. Nothing is a taboo for these adults. If the language is for adults only I will post a warning.

 

Enjoy if you can.

 

***********************************************************************

There is a Jennifer I know in real life, the character I am depicting here is purely imaginary and have nothing to do with the real Jennifer.

***********************************************************************

 

The day broke through the dark of the night long time back and I was still snoring upon the recliner and almost heard my snoring waking up. Suddenly I realized I am alone all stretched in the chair.

 

“Yet another dream” I said aloud.

 

“Really, what was it about… me?...” Jennifer’s sound shook the breath out of me. She was lying on the floor.

 

“You first hugged me and kept me to your chest like a child, then kissed my cheeks while snoring, then….” She paused and smiled.

 

I asked “Then?…”

 

“Then you pushed me down like a pillow… hahaha” she laughed aloud.

 

I got up from the chair and walked towards the toilet She got up and said.

 

“What happened last night should never happen between us”

 

“You mean sleeping on the same chair?” I kinda got irritated by her tone.

 

“No, the whole dating other people thing” She did not looked at me while she said that.

 

“Look at me Jennifer, looks like the whole fault was mine in the first place. You choose the guy, you went out on a dinner with him and now you are telling me that I should have really stopped you from going on a date with some guy. Is that what you are saying?”

 

“No I didn’t say that, but I really wished that I came in here and kicked you nuts for letting me go with another guy, and calling you a psycho for just asking the time when I said I am going for a date.” She stopped speaking and looked at with a smile slowly spreading upon her face. It surprised me that what she thought of saying real was what she told me in the dream I saw.

 

I gave one of my side smiles and said… “I was hurt a bit for reasons I don’t know how to say, but sure it should not happen again” I paused as I saw Jennifer turning away from me.

 

“I think we should talk a lot more than we do now, about serious matters” Jennifer turned around and looked at me.

 

“Really?? About what? Love? Marriage? Ah??” I stepped towards her… She smiled at me and said… “We will reach there, don’t worry, but…” She raised her eyebrows and looked straight at me eyes”

 

I interrupted her “Yeah, we should go out on a real date, my mistake, I almost dug up a trench of friendship around you. You know… that is one hell hole people romantically interested should never jump into.”

 

Jennifer’s face brightened and a step closer to me she came and said “Yeah we should… I thought you are going to ask me out for a real date… then you were like you said digging up the friendship hole hahah” She couldn’t help laughing. Then she said “ I think we will do a date soon, what about next weekend, I will be totally held up whole week” She smiled at me as there was only a thin line of daylight between us. She suddenly held my hand kissed it hard and said “I have seen many men, I think you knew that. You are the one that gave me that feeling that you really want me for the rest of your life. It will need a lot of hard work from both of us and I hope you will make those adjustments.”

 

I held her hand upon my chest and said, “Sure, now it is you and I and you and I need to be “we”, and we will show our life how wonderful we are as “we”. Next weekend then.”

 

I let her go and walked to the bathroom and on the way and I saw on the mirror Jennifer kissing her own hand that I held upon my chest.

Introduction. From a previous post.

 

This is a talk between two strangers meeting at work place. They decide to live together and all these are talks between them in the evenings when they sit in the couch and watch T.V or movies or listen to music.

 

The 'I' here is a depiction of myself. Jennifer is the favorite name of mine so I gave that name to this fictitious character. This character may take characteristics of many women. Most of the time she will be just talking to me her mind, through that I will try to express what I feel about contemporary events and my thoughts about life.

 

I will try my best to update the Evening Talks when it is ready.  Sometime it will be daily or every other day or sometimes it will come twice in a week or just a weekly update. It depends on the availability of time. Nothing is a taboo for these adults. If the language is for adults only I will post a warning.

 

Enjoy if you can.

 

***********************************************************************

 

I was not sad about Jennifer going with another guy for a date. But still there was a bit of disappointment in the depth of my mind. I wondered why I felt that way. I took my pen and thought I will write something but the pen was out of ink. I scrambled around to find another one but couldn’t find one. I understood the inevitability of inaction once I know I got to get a new pen. I sat there in the recliner and stretched my legs and closed my eyes.

 

 My writing was not at its best these day I said to myself after reading some of my writing. Time might’ve passed real fast as I heard Jennifer stumbling in. I didn’t go out of the room as I know she will be badly drunk. It kinda gave relief that the date was not that good. Only when she have a bad date or day she gets drunk.

 

“Hey… you lousy psycho, where are you?” She really started shouting.

 

“Haha… speak to me, Bacardi… “ I said.

 

“You are such a loser, you watched a girl you promised to be with two days back, go away with another guy” Jennifer put just her head into the room standing outside the door and said with bloody eyes filled with tears.

 

“There is nothing to lose here Jennifer as you ain’t worth fighting for. If you were really interested in me, you would not have agreed to go with that guy in the first place.” I said by looking straight at Jennifer.

 

I still could only see her head. She then opened the door and walked in and said…” You know only to hit on women and may be get them for a one night stand. You don’t know or you don’t care to keep them as yours. That’s why you were alone”. She sounded way more pissed off than I expected with what I said.

 

I stood up and said… “Look, I am not like any other Tom, Dick and Harry you see out there. I am not a soft speaking, flower carrying romantic who will change to something I am not for winning the heart of someone. I am who I am, I could never be someone whom I am not. If this is going to throw me into infinite loneliness, I will rather take that than begging to be liked and loved” I also started losing my temper at Jennifer. I don’t know why, I felt more intoxicated that all the shots she had taken.

 

Jennifer stared at me and said… “We are two people who are breaking apart even before we were together, isn’t it?”

 

“Yeah, looks like so… I will find another apartment and move as soon as possible” I said and turned around. I turned back and said “Look I don’t think that date really helped you or me or anyone” I stopped as I saw Jennifer slowly walking out the door.

 

I heard a noise, a shoe fallen of my leg I think and woke up as my stretched leg started to pain…”What a dream” I said….  And didn’t gave much thought as I can see the clock dragging around 12:35AM. I rolled myself up and sat in the big recliner falling asleep again.

 

I don’t know how long I sat there like that… but a cold feeling around my cheeks slowly woke me up. I saw Jennifer standing in front, I don’t think she noticed me opening my eyes as she was preparing to get into the recliner. She slowly rolled up around me gently holding my shoulders and put her head on my right shoulder.

 

She whispered into my ears “I know no man like I know you. I am sorry, I hurt you by leaving you for the evening.” She paused and continued “Like me for who I am, I will do the same to you”

 

I just sat there seeing her in the dull moonlight sneaking in as her breath grew longer and longer, I leaned my head over her head and closed my eyes.

Introduction. From a previous post.

 

This is a talk between two strangers meeting at work place. They decide to live together and all these are talks between them in the evenings when they sit in the couch and watch T.V or movies or listen to music.

 

The 'I' here is a depiction of myself. Jennifer is the favorite name of mine so I gave that name to this fictitious character. This character may take characteristics of many women. Most of the time she will be just talking to me her mind, through that I will try to express what I feel about contemporary events and my thoughts about life.

 

I will try my best to update the Evening Talks when it is ready.  Sometime it will be daily or every other day or sometimes it will come twice in a week or just a weekly update. It depends on the availability of time. Nothing is a taboo for these adults. If the language is for adults only I will post a warning.

Enjoy if you can.

***********************************************************************

Evening Talks-Weekend Thoughts.

 

Mornings are not my time… it is just the opposite for Jennifer. She wakes up so early and does most of the things in the morning. On a Saturday morning there are no exceptions I hate anyone waking me up Jennifer knows that and probably was very careful in getting the Washer started and went out by the time I woke up.

 

The sun gathered all he can and was trying his best to blaze upon the Earth, but the old man winter is the winner of the day even though he lost most of his piercing claws and teeth.

 

I woke up listening to my own voice from the phone, as the ringer of my PDA phone is my own voice saying, “Hey, pick up the phone man, pick up the phone, just pick up the phone”. It was Jennifer… she asked me “Hey there, are you up… or did I woke you up?”

 

“You woke me up” I said through my yawns “What’s up Jennifer? Where are you?” I got curious when I got a call at about 11:30AM and it is not my habit to wake up that early on a weekend.

 

“I am at Jessica’s; you want to join us for lunch?” Jennifer asked.

 

I got up and said “No, I look like a wreck, No, I am going to chill out here got a lot to write… it is all ringing in the mind now. Go ahead…. I am fine, thanks for asking.” I chained all I can say in one breath.

 

“Okay… I will talk to you later” Jennifer said before she hang up the phone.

 

I did all the morning formalities in the toilet and came out then I made my tea… the cardamom, saffron, honey, vanilla syrup and the English breakfast tea perfectly blended. “Boy I am getting good at making good tea” I said taking a sip of my tea after eating hot peanuts. I love the feeling I get drinking hot tea after eating spicy food.

 

With ESPN going on I don’t know what program was in there, still I like to hear some noise even when I asleep. Silence is something that scares me. I just stretched a bit and thought about something my mother said a long time back about my birth.

 

The further side of the town to the west,

Arabian sea roared with all her fury,

The hospital was small but well equipped,

A mother to be in pain listened,

To the crashing of the waves upon the rocky sea walls.

 

The labor was long and hard still the baby never came,

He held on in the end doctors with a vacuum pulled him out,

The vacuum broke and safe he was and the mother,

Still the stubborn new born kept his silence,

The doctors and nurses all in surprise but cared,

Minutes went by and after listening to the roaring sea,

For twenty long minutes all around he listened,

From just the heart beat of a mom to the wilderness of the world,

Then he screamed and screamed and screamed all night.

 

Now I know why silence around me I hate,

As silence of mine is not what my mother first wished,

And even through my childhood, adolescent and youthful days,

When I screamed, shouted aloud and in high volume music I played,

The ever patient mother never said a word,

And I know she still don’t wish a bit of silence from me.

 

I scribbled those words in my writing pad thinking about my mother’s words and for some reason a thought of new beginning came to my mind. What is that? I was not able to talk in my mind about it as the phone rang again.

 

“This is Jennifer… how are you doing?” the ever giggling Jennifer asked.

 

“I am cool… I had my tea and snacks… so what are you up to? Are you coming home tonight?” I asked.

 

“mmm that’s what I want to speak about… I am going out on a dinner date… Jessica introduced me to this guy.” Jennifer paused and continued. “I want a favor… I am on my way there, can you bring down my brown coat… it is kinda cold out tonight”… Jennifer went silent after she finished. I waited for a moment and said

 

“Oh yeah… you mean the one with the big white buttons?”

 

“Yup that’s the one” she said… “ I just reached the apartment”…

 

“Okay I am on my way downstairs” I said it without a thought. I took her coat and went downstairs. Her car was waiting with blinkers on in front of the apartment and I gave her the coat passively and said.

 

“Have a wonderful evening…” then only I noticed it is dark outside. I asked Jennifer “What time is it?” Jennifer with a smile said…”6:32”

 

“Oh, I kinda got lost in my own thoughts…. Gotta go Jennifer… Enjoy your date”

 

“Good night” She shouted.

 

I walked back to the apartment and got into the elevator… then the whole friendly date and talk during that time came to my mind like a flash and it all disappeared like a flash.

 

While getting into my apartment unknowingly I said aloud

 

“Women for me are like flashes of brightness in the dark… what in the end remains is darkness and silent love”

 

 

Introduction. From a previous post.

 

This is a talk between two strangers meeting at work place. They decide to live together and all these are talks between them in the evenings when they sit in the couch and watch T.V or movies or listen to music.

 

The 'I' here is a depiction of myself. Jennifer is the favorite name of mine so I gave that name to this fictitious character. This character may take characteristics of many women. Most of the time she will be just talking to me her mind, through that I will try to express what I feel about contemporary events and my thoughts about life.

 

I will try my best to update the Evening Talks when it is ready.  Sometime it will be daily or every other day or sometimes it will come twice in a week or just a weekly update. It depends on the availability of time. Nothing is a taboo for these adults. If the language is for adults only I will post a warning.

Enjoy if you can.

***********************************************************************

The Bar/Restaurant was a very nice place with a lot of room in between tables. I hate places where tables are arranged close together where one cannot speak anything more than a whisper. I am not a good dater in a restaurant. First of all, I barely talk when I eat and I eat slowly. When I talk, I hate whispering to my girl and I talk fast. None of those things mattered as I was with Jennifer for a dinner not really a date.

 

We got in there at the wrong time as the place was filled with people Joe squeezed us past some people waiting for tables and got us my favorite table near the window.

 

“Wonderful” I said while sitting. “The usual Liz Fuel From Sobe”… I paused as I saw Jennifer getting all perplexed and frowning. “Order you drink”. I said looking at her confusion.

 

“What you said is a drink?” asked Jennifer.

 

“Yeah… It is my favorite drink. I don’t drink any other kind unless Liz Fuel is not available. Well… most of the time I drink other things as this drink is not available everywhere” I took a breath.

 

“Scotch on rocks” Jennifer said all of a sudden to a waiting Joe who was almost drooling by this time looking at Jennifer.

 

Joe took note of it, gave one more look, gave a wink at me and danced away.

 

“Weirdo, what sort of things you drink… why don’t you drink Whiskey or Rum or something like that.” Jennifer looked at me for an answer.

 

“If I say my reasons for not drinking alcohol are just religious then I will be lying. When I was younger and most of my friends started drinking, I just didn’t felt like drinking. Then most of the people around me started telling that I am worst than the worst drunk guy around. I never needed any alcohol to be high. I was born high” I laughed aloud as Jennifer burst into laughter.

 

“Now that’s nice, you never drank any alcohol in your life. I wanted to quit… but I don’t  know why should I quit…. I will… someday” Jennifer was looking around and continued “It is so busy here”.

 

“Yeah, it is always busy here, I used to be a regular here when I dated Linda my ex-girlfriend and this is one of my favorite places. As it is so roomy here” I stopped as I felt that Jennifer got a bit agitated with something. “What’s up? Are you okay?” I asked.

 

“Not exactly… I have this bad feeling about the whole thing at work… and to be honest with you, this conversation is going no where” Jennifer sighed and looked at me with her tired eyes.

 

I know it was not easy for me to handle Jennifer in that situation. As far as I know she is not the kind of person who will erase anything out of her mind with the click of a hand or any charming things I say “Hey… relax… it is not easy to change mind easily and I don’t expect you to. You know… there was this time when I was in my first job I have had a problem with a co-worker. Peter.  He was old but well experienced and I am not at all experienced with what need to be done. I faced the same situation where he almost commanded me in doing things. I did as I know I have to get the job done.” I paused as the eager eyes and ears of Jennifer were piercing me. I continued “ My point is if you are going to be stubborn with these jack asses it will only ruin your life everyday. Understand this, you don’t want to be in that project but you have no choice so get it over with and move on. Our team is starting a new project next month once that kicks of I can suck you into our team.” I held my breath after I finished to see her reaction.

 

Jennifer looked at me for a while without saying a word and in a subdued voice asked me. “Do you like me?”.

 

“Yes” I said without any hesitation. I continued “Not romantically, not sexually” To my surprise I saw a happy smile upon her face.

 

“That’s good my man, may I ask for more explanations?” she paused and waited for me to speak.

 

“Well to start with… I’ve just got out of my disaster with Linda and I don’t think I am in anyway ready to start another relationship that involves romance. As you know, I am not a sex maniac who craves for every woman I see. I never thought you are going to ask me this.” I stopped as I felt Jennifer’s hand upon my left hand. She held my hand up holding it tight and said.

 

“I give you my word that I will be there for you in all these tough days to transition out of a relationship. What I wanted to know was your intentions with me. I know you are going through some tough days. I misjudged you. I thought you were fantasizing about me. Now I am relieved that you are not. Look… we are both adults and its better to be open about these things than playing high-school romance games” Jennifer paused and asked “deal?”…

 

“deal” I said.

 

By this time I can see Joe bringing our drinks with a naughty smile on his face as he saw Jennifer holding my hands and speak.

 

Joe served the drinks and took our food order… he never even glanced at me and while leaving gave a pat on my back. Jennifer saw it and gave me her naughty smile. After Joe left we both were taking the first sip of our drinks saying cheers to our friendship.

 

She suddenly asked “So how was your relationship with Linda?”

 

I was literally shaken as I never expected her to ask that in the first place. “ Well… she was… good looking… but major league slut… she was dating two other guys while living with me. I didn’t know, or rather I did not had any time to figure that out…. Well.. by the time things came out it was all bad…” I sighed and continued “She was all knocked up and there are three guys… you can understand the weirdness of three guys sitting in a lab giving DNA and the weirdest part of it all was getting the DNA from the fetus to the prove who is the father.” I smiled ironically and said “You know I was praying that the kid was not mine and I can almost read the other guys mind praying the same, alas.. it was Bob… and he did the right thing… proposed to her after a week… I am happy for them and I am happy the bitch is gone from my life”. Jennifer looked at me with curiosity and asked.

 

“You really loved her isn’t it?” Jennifer did not smiled after asking the question.

 

I couldn’t smile either… then I forced a smile upon my face and said. “I loved the sex” Jennifer laughed aloud after hearing what I said.

 

I laughed too… and from behind me Joe said “Share me the joke, buddy” Joe served the food and in between I told him what I said about Linda. He too laughed and told us. “ May be you guys should really think seriously about a relationship, looks like a perfect pair. Just my opinion…” Joe looked at me and said. “ Work it out man, you are the one who gives advice to all of us, now looks like its time for you to take some advice yourself” Joe laughed and left.

 

We have had food and by the time Jennifer had her third drink I finished eating. We were talking about some of our likes and dislikes and about Indian food, movies and music while eating.

 

Once I finished eating, I waved at Joe and he came to us and said to Jennifer suggestively “He is a slow eater” Jennifer in her giggling laugh said, “Yes he is… I just saw that… you don’t know Joe… I like slow eaters” saying this Jennifer winked at me.

 

“Hahaha”  Joe laughed and said… “didn’t I told you guys that you two are a good pair…” Joe turned to Jennifer and said “ See, the thing is he is my buddy and all… but a little short temper and childishness that is the only problem… Linda was a bitch and from first look I told him that. But you know he got a great heart… a gem of a person… you won’t be able to see if by sitting across… you have to reach inside of his mind…” Joe smiled at me while finishing his lecture.

 

I left the signed check at his hand and said “Joe now I know what you were in your last life” Joe asked “Tell me my man” I laughed and said “A Pimp” Joe laughed aloud so did Jennifer. Joe turned to Jennifer and said “See I was right about the childishness” Jennifer laughed again and holding Joes hands and told him “Your buddy is mine no doubt about it. Linda messed him up I am going to fix that. But we decided to start off with a good friendship and let us se if anything works out”

 

Joe turned to me and said, “ See in looks and words the perfect girl for you man” I slowly took Jennifer from Joe’s hands and started walking out giving a smile and a wink at him and said “ Don’t worry buddy you will be the best man, someday”.

 

By the time we reached home Jennifer was all high she started singing the Elton John song Sacrifice which was playing in my car.

 

I helped her to get into the apartment and she went straight to the couch and fallen into the couch. I know I can’t leave her there as it will give a stiff neck  So I pulled her off the couch and took her to her bed room. I slowly took her shoes off and covered her with the comforter and walked out of the room carefully closing the door.

 

  I came to my room and sat at the table, turned on the laptop then took my writing pad and started writing a new poem listening to Jennifer featuring Elton John’s Sacrifice.

 

(End Of Friendly Date Part two)

Introduction. From a previous post.

 

This is a talk between two strangers meeting at work place. They decide to live together and all these are talks between them in the evenings when they sit in the couch and watch T.V or movies or listen to music.

 

The 'I' here is a depiction of myself. Jennifer is the favorite name of mine so I gave that name to this fictitious character. This character may take characteristics of many women. Most of the time she will be just talking to me her mind, through that I will try to express what I feel about contemporary events.

 

I will try my best to update the Evening Talks when it is ready.  Sometime it will be daily or every other day or sometimes it will come twice in a week or just a weekly update. It depends on the availability of time. Nothing is a taboo for these adults. If the language is for adults only I will post a warning.

Enjoy if you can.

*********************************************************************

Some Dialogues Are Explicit. Reader Discretion Adviced.

*********************************************************************

Another day passed me by and a yawning, stretching Jennifer fallen into my car.

 

“Whew…. Psssst… what a dramatic day?” She was literally screaming.

 

“I know what you are telling, Jennifer. That meeting kinda fall apart towards the end.” I said knowing what happened at work.

 

“You always calls me Jennifer…. Mmm… Even my mom calls me only Jenni”  Jennifer sounded childish when she said that.

 

“Hey, hey… I mean no offense in calling you the whole first name. In fact Jennifer is my favorite name. Almost all people with that name are extremely beautiful.” I gave a side glance at her raising my right eyebrow alone.

 

“Stop, fucking me with your eyes Jack Ass…” She sat frowning at the windshield.

 

“Hahaha… you don’t seem to be in a good mood… dear… spit it away” I said through my laughs.

 

“Yeah, Yeah, I will spit it into your mouth….” She was really pissed off by this time.

 

“Hey, Hey I was only kidding, come on… don’t drag your work around. Leave it when you step out of the office”. I almost pleaded to her to calm down.

 

“Yeah, Cute..” She sounded a bit naughty by this time.

 

I wanted to calm Jennifer down a bit and I know sitting at home with me was only going to drive her to full blown insanity.

 

“ What about dinner?” I asked.

 

“What about dinner?” Repeating what I said. Jennifer frowning in surprise turned to me.

 

“Are you asking me out for a date?” I can now see animated questions marks flying inside my car.

 

“Date????” It was my turn to be surprised.

 

“Well… I thought I will take you out for dinner. No date okay” I was eager not to give her any bad signals.

 

“What’s wrong in calling it a date?” She started her questions again. “We are not going on a romantic date… a friendly date”… I can feel the giggle inside of her in my ears.

 

“Okay….. Whatever” I sounded like a teenager when I said that.

 

“ You have a reservation?” She was curious…

 

“Nope” I abruptly ended the curiosity.

 

“Then how the fuck are we going to get into any good restaurant?” She asked.

 

“I said dinner… there is McDonalds, Burger King, Wendy’s,” I started laughing by this time…”Taco Bell” I said that with a flat nasal note.

 

“If you get me into a Taco Bell or any other place you said. I will shove up it your ass” by the time she said it… I took the exit that goes to the Sheldon Rock restaurant.

 

“Now that’s my man…” she said in excitement.

 

“No way, I am your man… find your man from there to fuck you tonight” I decided to poke her feelings up.

 

“Yeah, there is a waiter here whom I love a lot”…in a naughty note she continued “Tasty”.

 

“What the fuck you think? Mmha  I am whore to go sleeping around?” …. “ Who the fuck want to sleep with you anyway” now she turned to insult.

 

“Good question hehehe None” I said.

 

“Do you really have a reservation here?” She asked.

 

“Nope, but I know Joe very well. I have taken many dates here” I said.

 

“So this is a date then..aah” There was a bit of irony in what she said.

 

“No, this is not a date period” I argued.

 

“ This is a friendly dinner that’s all. I know you can’t cook anything tonight and the last thing I want to see is a growling beauty on a couch” I ended my words abruptly as I parked the car.

 

While walking into the restaurant I can see my buddy Joe smiling at me at the door.

 

“Reservation is a must for everyone here. You know that man”…. Joe gave me a naughty smile while checking out Jennifer.

 

“Emergency times leads to drastic measures…. My roommate is in a bad mood” I said.

 

“ There is always a table waiting for you my man” Joe said shaking my hands and took us both into the Bar.

 

(End Of Friendly Date-Part One).

Introduction. From a previous post.

 

This is a talk between two strangers meeting at work place. They decide to live together and all these are talks between them in the evenings when they sit in the couch and watch T.V or movies or listen to music.

 

The 'I' here is a depiction of myself. Jennifer is the favorite name of mine so I gave that name to this fictitious character. This character may take characteristics of many women. Most of the time she will be just talking to me her mind, through that I will try to express what I feel about contemporary events.

 

I will try my best to update the Evening Talks when it is ready.  Sometime it will be daily or every other day or sometimes it will come twice in a week or just a weekly update. It depends on the availability of time. Nothing is a taboo for these adults. If the language is for adults only I will post a warning.

Enjoy if you can.

*********************************************************************

*********************************************************************

Evening Talks Two.

 

The monotonous work tired me down by lunchtime. The best part of the day was spent going through computer programs and figuring out how data flows from one application to another. I started calling files women’s names so that I can have some interest in dealing with them. I wonder what my manager would think if ever she finds out my work notes.

 

 The evening came in slowly and that gloomy Monday resisted his best to the wrath of nightfall. The drive back in a carpool with Jennifer was a silent one, as minds of both of us were somewhere else than at each other. I did not talked at all, every time I thought of saying something I decided not to as she seemed very much concentrated in her driving.

 

We reached home and I went straight to the bedroom and crashed on the bed cursing “Stella the file” for dragging my mind and tiring me down. I woke up at about 7:30 PM to good loud noise of T.V. I went to the bathroom took half a shower than the normal half an hour one and came out all freshened up.

 

“ Hey there”  Jennifer asked without much strength in her voice.

 

“Hi hi, what’s going on T.V” I couldn’t figure out what is going on T.V at all.

 

“It is not T.V, this is the wedding party of my high school sweety” She blushed a bit when she said “Sweety”.

 

“hehe” I rhymed with my giggle…

 

“No no it was not like you think, we remained friends even after we went apart” Jennifer sounded a bit pleading me to understand.

 

“Understood, but in my part of the world especially the high school I studied did not had any girls at all. It was a boys only school. So I don’t have any experience with any “High school sweeties”… I did had a girl friend at that time. She was from a girls school and we once in a while met and talked… I really loved her. When I left I know for days I was sad and gloomy… and I knew it was very hard on her too..”

 

I took a breath, and Jennifer was in all wonders. Staring at me..

 

“What’s up with the look to kill?” I was frowning at her when I asked.

 

“You still love her, isn’t it?” in a mild voice Jennifer asked.

 

“Sure I do” I said “Nothing happened between us to end up not loving each other at all. Life took us in different paths and I ended up in the other side of the planet. She is now married with couple of children. But I know if someone ask her if she love me. She will also say “Yes”. I don’t think there is much romance in our love anymore. But still we care about each other a lot.”

 

“I was surprised when you said “we remained friends” even after you guys parted. Many kids now-a-days don’t keep up like that. They keep on changing their minds almost every second of the day. Especially girls. Most of the teenagers both boys and girls tend to become self centered and they don’t get the fundamentals of caring for another person.” I took a breath. Before I could continue Jennifer interrupted.

 

“I won’t blame the kids alone in this… most of the time… it is the parents that makes them self centered. There is a point at which the bad cycle should break and some parents should decide to take care of the kids. That don’t happen most of the time because of financial matters, parents themselves falling a part… you might know the things that goes on around in this country??? “ Jennifer looked at me queerly..

 

“Well… I really don’t know how families work here in America, in the outside world there is a bad impression about family life here in America.” I stopped prematurely as I did not got more words to say what was there in my mind.

 

Jennifer looked at me again in a strange way and asked “You are right about the bad impression… but you know when it comes to two very young people… friendship got only little real estate and the boundaries are easily broken” Jennifer paused for a moment while looking away as if in reverie and continued “Once we grow older we realize… it was all hormone induced passions and many people even regret being some relationships” She paused again and asked “You know what I mean”.

 

“My questions is why don’t this generation in this information age learn from the previous generations mistakes” I looked at her as a slight smile was blossoming on her face and said “ They hate older people calling them “old school” and say we need to experience life and make all the mistakes. The same mistakes made by generations before them. They learn lessons learned by past generations in the same way the past generations learned those lessons by making mistakes. In my opinion they should learn from the wisdom left out by those mistakes than repeating the same mistakes” I stopped as Jennifer was about to burst into laughs. She did exploded and said… hahaha “you have said the word mistake many time and I can’t help laughing. Sorry…”

 

“Don’t be sorry… I was just telling my thoughts”…. I was a bit regretful.

 

“Hey… you made me laugh by telling something very serious and important” she laughed again and said…’you are right.. you are right.. it is true that this generation is lost. Are they beyond any hope of recovery??”

 

“Nope… they will learn many will be lost beyond any hope of recovery. But that is the reality every generation before this one faced. You are right… Parents should take more responsibility in developing a child’s mind “ I felt the hunger deep in my stomach that started growling.

 

“I need to eat” I said..

 

“I can hear that from your stomach heheh, it's time to say hi to fridge and microwave”  she smiled.. I ate and I am off to sleep…

 

I walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge. Pulled out the frozen dinner and checked the label to confirm the timings.

 

By this time Jennifer was almost in her room while closing the door she said “ The real estate in our friendship is almost all erased” I looked back holding the microwave’s door

“Yeah, only the boundary exists… let us see how long it will hold on”  the door lock was what I could hear by the time she finished saying it.

 

With a little smile I got back to my food to be stirred and microwaved again…nodding my head in affirmation of a thought breezing through my brain.