June 22, 2012

  • Happy Birthday!


    A New Short Story By Sajumon Ashan.

    Happy Birthday!

     

    Once I was doing a poetry show late at night. It was about 4:00AM and there was no one in the BlotgTV chat room and I was still going great guns in the other chat. I was reciting a poem called “The Lady Of The Woods” From my book and one visitor came to my BlogTV chat. I don’t know it was a he or she. There is no way one can verify that other than through co-hosting there. This person heard the poem and asked me.

    “Who wrote that poem?”

    I kinda gave a strange look. Someone coming to my chat and don’t even say hello and ask how I am, is not in the chat with the best of the intentions.

    So I asked “Hello there, how are you doing?” the visitor said, “I am doing good man.”

    I looked again at the question and answered “I wrote that poem, it is in my book” and I raised my book “Age Of Survival” my collection of poems which I published in 2006.

    The visitor said “Aha you are a published author, how much is the book?” I replied “$21.00”

    By that time another question came from the other site and I answered that question. This person by this time got all confused that I am saying things which makes not much sense to the visitor was the only person in that chat room

    The visitor to my chat room had gone a bit aggressive and asked “Have you seen the pussy of the lady of the woods?”

    I am no man who will tolerate anything like that in my chat room usually I kick anyone who speaks like that in my chat room. Still I thought no one else is there on BlogTV and the authors listening to my chat in the other chat are more older than me who will know what is going on.

    I said “No I haven’t seen it” I frowned a bit and continued “See, I don’t really go and look into pussies. I fuck in here’.

    “So you fuck in anything that got a pussy?” the visitor asked. I know the trap in that question so I answered it clearly “A girl who is willing to have sex with me who is at least 18 years or older and is willing to have a romantic relationship with me socially may have a good chance in getting fucked by me.”

    The visitor immediately typed “What if she is not willing?” I said “Nope, I will not touch her, a no is a no is a no when it comes to having sex.” I leaned forward on to the table and said “See I am a man, a poet, a brother and a son.. I have seen women of many culture and character and of course I have made my mistakes too but now I know who should sleep with me or not.” I by that time know I am speaking a bit over the limit. Still it is a chatroom so I thought I will keep it going.

    Then the visitor asked “Do you have children?” I said “I don’t think so, well I am not sure as no one claimed to be my child yet.”

    The visitor immediately asked “So you are just sitting here trying to seduce women with your poems to come to your place and have sex with you.“

    I said “Nope I am not an online weirdo who runs after girls” when I said that much the visitor said “You are a mother fucker, you know that.”

    I told the visitor “Happy Birthday”

    Visitor said “It is not my birthday”

    I said “See I am from South India, in our culture and tradition birth happens at the time of conception” visitor asked “What?”

    Holding my laughs I continued “Yup this is the exact moment years back I cum into your mother’s pussy.” Visitor again asked “WTF?”

    I kept going “That’s why I said Happy Birthday, I told your mom to raise you well but looks like she did a bad job.”

    The visitor immediately left but as blogtv have a provision of banning someone not in the chatroom with a command I banned that visitor.

    Then I looked in the other chat and I saw a lot of LOL, ROFL and LMAO going on there. Without saying anything more I announced “Next poem, Reading Poems from the book Age Of Survival, a poem written about a man who loved a girl, who wanted that girl to love him back but felt rejected when she told another man’s name as her lover” then I burst myself into laughs about what I said earlier..

    I saw the admin on the other chat type in a private message

    “I think you should go to bed and get some nice sleep”

    I agreed and announced “Reading Poems will be recited tomorrow as our admin don’t want me to wish happy birthday to anyone anymore.”  

    I shut down my computer and went to bed with more laughs.